In a recent interview, President-elect Donald Trump unveiled a novel approach to immigration enforcement: deporting entire families, including American citizens, to avoid the heartache of separation. Yes, you heard that correctly. To keep families united, Trump suggests sending everyone packing—citizens and non-citizens alike. This plan, as reported by the New York Post, aims to prevent the emotional distress caused by splitting up families during deportation proceedings.

Now, one might wonder about the legal and constitutional implications of deporting American citizens. After all, the 14th Amendment does guarantee citizenship rights. But let’s not get bogged down in details. The overarching goal here is family unity, even if it means relocating entire households to foreign lands. Trump’s proposal also includes the construction of ‘family facilities’—soft-sided tent structures designed to detain and deport large numbers of migrants and their U.S.-born children. Tom Homan, appointed as Trump’s ‘border czar,’ assures us that these facilities will be anything but inhumane.

Critics might argue that this plan resembles a reality TV show gone awry, where contestants are unceremoniously shipped off to distant locales. But let’s focus on the positives: families will remain together, experiencing new cultures and environments—whether they like it or not. In a twist worthy of a daytime soap opera, Guatemala has expressed willingness to accept deportees from other Central American countries. This gesture aims to build a positive relationship with the incoming Trump administration. It’s heartwarming to see international cooperation flourishing in the name of mass deportation.

Meanwhile, private prison companies are gearing up for a potential windfall. With plans to expand capacities and hire more staff, they’re preparing to accommodate the anticipated influx of detainees. After all, nothing says ‘economic opportunity’ quite like the prospect of detaining and deporting large numbers of people.

Of course, there are logistical challenges to consider. Housing, feeding, and transporting entire families require significant resources. But fear not, the administration is confident that with enough funding and determination, these obstacles can be overcome.

As for the American citizens facing deportation alongside their undocumented relatives, it’s an opportunity for adventure. A chance to explore new horizons, reconnect with ancestral homelands, or perhaps discover entirely new ones. Who needs the comfort and security of home when you can have the thrill of the unknown?

In conclusion, Trump’s innovative approach to immigration enforcement ensures that family bonds remain unbroken, even if it means relocating everyone to foreign soil. It’s a bold strategy, blending compassion with a touch of authoritarianism. What could possibly go wrong?