In a move that surprises absolutely no one, House Republicans have rolled out their latest masterstroke: the ‘Tax Cuts and Jobs Act 2.0.’ Yes, because the first one worked so well, why not double down? This new bill promises to extend the 2017 tax cuts, toss in a few more for good measure, and, for the grand finale, eliminate taxes on tips and Social Security payments. Because, clearly, the path to economic nirvana is paved with deficit-financed tax relief.

Speaker Mike Johnson, with the enthusiasm of a used car salesman unveiling this year’s model, declared, ‘We’re going to be dismantling the deep state.’ Ah yes, because nothing says ‘draining the swamp’ like slashing revenue and ballooning the national debt.

But wait, there’s more! The bill also proposes raising the state and local tax (SALT) deduction cap from $10,000 to $20,000. This is a brilliant move to appease Republicans from high-tax states like New York and California, who have been whining about this since 2017. Never mind that this will cost the Treasury about $160 billion over ten years. Fiscal responsibility? That’s so last decade.

Now, you might be wondering, how do they plan to pay for all these generous tax cuts? Simple: by raising tariffs on imported goods. Because nothing stimulates economic growth like a good old-fashioned trade war. Who needs affordable consumer goods when you can have higher taxes on foreign products? It’s Economics 101—if your professor was a protectionist from the 19th century.

Of course, this legislative masterpiece is not without its critics. Some Republicans, bless their hearts, are concerned about the impact on the federal deficit. As if adding trillions to the national debt is a bad thing. Haven’t they heard? Deficits don’t matter—until they do.

And let’s not forget the Democrats, who are predictably up in arms about the bill. They argue that it disproportionately benefits the wealthy and does little for the middle class. Shocking, isn’t it? Who would have thought that tax cuts favoring high-income earners could be seen as unfair?

But fear not, dear reader, for President-elect Donald Trump is here to save the day. He’s been meeting with Senate Republicans, urging them to pass his agenda in a single, massive bill. Because if there’s one thing Congress is known for, it’s efficiently passing comprehensive legislation without any hiccups.

In the end, this tax reform bill is a testament to the unwavering commitment of House Republicans to prioritize tax cuts above all else. Infrastructure? Healthcare? Education? Mere distractions from the noble pursuit of reducing the tax burden on the wealthiest Americans. After all, trickle-down economics has only been disproven by every reputable economist, so why not give it another shot?

So, here’s to ‘Taxapalooza 2025’—because when it comes to fiscal policy, go big or go home. And if it all goes south, well, there’s always the next election cycle to promise even more tax cuts. Cheers!