Science! Attractive Women Proven to be More Conservative; Left-Wing Women… Not so Much

djile /
djile /

Remember back during the pandemic when people like Anthony Fauci were telling us to “follow the science?” Oddly enough, all the leftwing partisan hacks who were trying to boss us around were not following the science at all. Those of us on the right actually do like to follow science, and we have a doozy of a newly published scientific study to share with you. The science says that conservative women are hot, and liberal women… are not.

These groundbreaking findings were recently published in Scientific Reports, which is owned by the journal Nature. The conclusive report found that artificial intelligence (AI) can predict a person’s political ideology simply by looking at a single picture of them. For the study, they used 3,200 publicly submitted pictures of Danish political candidates who ran in that country’s 2017 municipal election. The pictures were loaded into Microsoft Azure’s Face API tool for analysis.

This conclusive and settled scientific study states, “For females (though not males), high attractiveness scores were found among those the model identified as likely to be conservative. These results are credible given that previous research using human raters has also highlighted a link between attractiveness and conservatism.”

Don’t you just love science?

The scientists who conducted this important study announced, “Attractiveness was not the only correlate of model-predicted ideology. We also found that expressing happiness is associated with conservatism for both genders.”

The researchers proved conclusively that conservative women tend to be happier than liberal women. This makes total sense when you think about it. Conservative women are able to attract a man, so they’re naturally happier than the blue-haired slobs on the political left.

The happiness factor applied to conservative men as well. The AI accurately noted that conservative men tend to be happier than liberal men. This also makes total sense! Most of the attractive women are on our side of the political aisle, and this makes us happy!

Critics of the study, who are probably a bunch of anti-science college professor nerds, are claiming that the AI could be biased in its algorithms. Ha! Nerds!

Since we are actual followers of science here, we can carry out a quick study to compare real-world results to the AI’s findings in this important study.

First, pull up a video of any Trump rally from the past seven-plus years. Are the conservative women at Trump rallies attractive and happy? Yes, and yes! It’s a sea of hotties from horizon to horizon.

Next, pull up a video of the Women’s March, which was an event where a bunch of witches tried to cast magic spells to stop Trump’s inauguration. Do you notice any— Oh. Sorry. Did you just throw up in the back of your mouth a little bit? But this proves our point completely.

The Women’s March was a sea of land whales and frumpy hags with hairy armpits who look like they just crawled out of a trash can, wearing stupid pink hats that they claimed represented vaginas. Not exactly a foolproof plan for stopping a presidential inauguration, but whatever.

That pretty much confirms the science. Conservative women are prettier and happier than liberal women. Since science cannot be argued with, we are going to be sure to point this out to everyone we know. You can help increase human knowledge, too, by sharing this breakthrough research with everyone you know on social media! What do you think? Did the AI get it right, or was it somehow biased in favor of conservative women?